Question with 8 notes
bonjourcissy asked: If you're on campus and have someone harassing you like leering at you and if you feel comfortable doing so you should totally contact your campus police. It's a bit of a hassle, because it's a scary situation, but they can put it out as a BOL, notify the campus via e-mail of suspicious activity, and on my campus we put that person on a trespass list if they aren't a student. When they put the person on a trespass list they can then arrest them the next time they're on campus.
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I was leaving my Calculus class the other day, talking on the phone with my mother, when I noticed a strange man (had to be over 60 or 70) driving really slowly in a blue pickup and obviously leering at me out of the window. I scowled and wrote him off as just another perverted freak, since that sort of thing isn’t really unusual for me, as I have “large tracks of land.”
As I got into my car, however, I noticed rather than parking he had just sort of pulled off to the side, close enough that he could see me but not close enough that I could see whether or not he was actually watching me. Unnerved, I got quickly into my car. I locked the doors, but waited a while to see if he was getting out of his car to go to a class or what. He just sat there. Even more unnerved, I pulled out of the parking spot and began driving out of the college. I immediately noticed that he had started following me. Panicked, I called my mother and asked her what to do. She told me not to drive home, to drive to the police station instead, and get inside as quickly as possible. I began driving towards the police station, absolutely panicking, and the blue truck continued to follow me. To test, I even drove in weird ways, around blocks and basically around in circles, and he kept following me. I pulled in at the police station (totally illegally, too, but I didn’t care at that point) and he pulled in too, but when he saw me running for the entrance he peeled out and took off.
I stayed at the police station for a while, and made sure he was nowhere around the town before I finally drove home. This happened on Tuesday (4 days ago), and I’m still very jittery around campus and when walking around town. When men harass women on the street, we have no way of knowing if you’re just a stupid asshole or if you’re about to try and follow us home and hurt us.
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There’s many small stories I could come up with. Ever since I was eleven, people think it’s appropriate to yell something about my appearance on the streets. I’m not the pinnacle of beauty, and I usually wear something baggy. But apparently that doesn’t matter at all.
The worst case though was when I walked to my gran’s home for lunch one school day. Three guys I recognised from school were walking behind me all the time, yelling so called ‘compliments’, trying to get my attention.
Now, I was already pissed off because of a school thing and that I was on my period, but these three didn’t stop it. The last ten meters before I reached Gran’s apartment block, they caught up with me and started all over. “Do you want to go out with him?” “No. Leave me alone,” I said, rather calmly (even though I was yelling in my head). “Oh come on, you know you want him.” And then they PUSHED that guy against me. Wrong thing to do. It’s not because I’m fat that there’s no hint of strength in me. I pushed him off me, into the other two, and right across the street. That gained me some yells of “BITCH” after my ass, but I didn’t care any longer. I went in Gran’s apartment and cooled down during lunch. I didn’t see them any more after that, not even in school.
It also always surprises me when I’m at the playground with my younger cousins and an eight-year-old kid comes up to me and says ‘hey whore’. That’s not normal. That’s been taught to them. It’s even worse when I walk past a kindergarten schoolyard during their break and three year old boys yell ‘fuck you, bitch’. Tell me again boys will be boys. If they learn that so young, it’s not too late to unlearn it. Teach them respect. For everyone, and not only guys.
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So I was just waiting for the bus home from school, when some boys who must’ve been about my age (16) or maybe even younger started cat-calling me, wolf whistling etc. And then one of them came up to me and decided to start talking to me and telling me I was beautiful and that he loved me etc. So I told him firmly to please leave me alone, and then a little harsher and then I just said “piss off” and they would not stop bothering me until the bus had come. It was awful, and it’s disgusting how early boys pick up this shit.
TW: RAPE, VIOLENCE In San Francisco last year, a man stabbed a woman in the face and arm after she didn’t respond positively to his sexually harassing her on the street.
In Bradenton, Fla., a man shot a high school senior to death after she and her friends refused to perform oral sex at his request.
In Chicago, a scared 15-year-old was hit by a car and died after she tried escaping from harassers on a bus.
Again, in Chicago, a man grabbed a 19-year-old walking on a public thoroughfare, pulled her onto a gangway and assaulted her.
In Savannah, Georgia, a woman was walking alone at night and three men approached her. She ignored them, but they pushed her to the ground and sexually assaulted her.
In Manhattan, a 29-year-old pregnant woman was killed when men catcalling from a van drove onto the sidewalk and hit her and her friend.
Last week, a runner in California — a woman — was stopped and asked, by a strange man in a car, if she wanted a ride. When she declined he ran her over twice.
FUCK YOU if you think that street harassment is a “compliment” or “no big deal” or that it’s “irrational” of us to be afraid because “what’s actually gonna happen.” Fuck you, fuck you, fuck you some more.
This is terrorism.
Source: The Huffington Post
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I posted about this on my own tumblr recently.
I was walking home one late afternoon/early evening when I heard someone close behind me calling “Excuse me, miss!”. I turned around and there was this guy who started telling me how beautiful I was and how he had noticed me in the crowd and other such things. I smiled politely, said thanks and continued walking. He started walking next to me, saying he had been following me for a while (for about 2km judging by the spot he mentioned) and that he wanted us to go for a coffee or a drink and get to know each other because he felt he loved me.
The faster I walked, the faster he walked beside me. He kept repeating himself and pushing me to accept a date. I told him politely “no thanks, I’m not interested” many times. I was scared to be more hostile because it was getting dark and we had reached a small park and the area was semi-deserted and I always have in the back of my mind that you don’t know what might trigger a violent reaction so stay polite, stay polite.
I got to the point where I started explaining to him that what he was doing was scary, not nice at all, and that you don’t walk up to a woman alone on the street and start following her and expect her to come with you to a cafe or to your house. He didn’t seem to be getting it. So, when I saw three men standing next to the park entrance, chatting with each other, I raised my voice and shouted “Stop following me! I don’t want you to follow me. I don’t want to go with you anywhere!” and when those men turned to see what was going on, then and only then did he turn around and walk away.
I was two blocks from my flat but I didn’t go there as I had to walk through a very dark, deserted alley and was afraid he’d follow me, so I went to a friend’s place instead for a couple of hours. I admit I was shaking for a while.
It still enrages me to this day that this man had the power to make me feel helpless and afraid while walking in a friendly, safe town, all because he saw me on the street and decided he wanted me, regardless of my own opinion on the matter.
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A few years ago, I was vacationing with my dad and brother in Utah. While they were in our hotel grabbing a few things while I was waiting for them at a bus stop. A car packed with 5 muscular guys drove past me. One of the passengers popped his head out of the window and yelled, “Hey sexy, you single?!” I’m a guy, and when I looked around to see who he was talking to, they all started laughing. I don’t know if they were gay or if they thought I was a woman (I’ve been told that I bear a resemblance to my mom), but I do know that they were not paying me a compliment and they did not care about how I felt. I’m very shy, thin, and these guys could have beat the hell out of me, so I was too scared say anything and just looked at the ground. It was humiliating.
This post is really addressed to the people who think that such a thing is flattering. To the men who think this: would you be okay with other men saying something like that to you? To the women who think this: would you be okay with other women saying that to you? I would be willing to bet all of my money that most, if not all of you, wouldn’t enjoy being put in a situation like that by complete strangers, regardless of said strangers’ genders. Put yourselves in the shoes of people who experience street harassment and you’ll see why it’s a bad thing.
Nobody should have to feel ashamed of themselves or afraid simply for being out in the open, so please have empathy for those who do.
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A couple days ago, I was walking down the street after dropping a friend off and saw a dude who was attempting to give all the female pedestrians hugs. I dodged and told him off when he approached me. I continued down the street and realized he had been following me for about half a block. I turned around and stared him down. He loomed over me and started asking me why I wouldn’t hug him, and tells me I’m hurting him. I told him that I didn’t fucking know him and to leave me alone. I slipped on my knucklepunchers and gave him the stink-eye again as I continued on my way — much faster this time. He still followed me for another couple yards, and only stopped when he was waylaid by another woman.
Video with 88 notes
Street harassment is not a compliment. A short film on street harassment.
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Sexual harassment isn’t a foreign concept to me, especially considering my job in a retail business. That combined with the fact that I love my body, love to dress it up, and feel good about myself means that sexual/street harassment is a weekly occurrence. Today though, after having a long day full of lectures and homework, I decided some retail therapy was in order. While walking from the bus stop to the mall, a man told his friend that he’d “totally ram her in the ass”. Not knowing who he was talking about, I turned around only to find that they were both staring straight at me. I gave them the finger and walked off while they shouted that I need to “replace the stick in my ass with their dick and learn to take a compliment.” What wonderful and eloquent creatures they were.
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