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I was waiting for my bus at Jernbanetorget. I had my earphones in and I thought he was tourist. He kept talking and told me he would accompany me home. But when we got to my bus stop in Bjerke, he got off with me. He asked me for a hug and took it without my permission, while his hand traveled over my bum and my breasts. I told him to stop and pulled away, then started home. He followed, talking about how pretty I was. I remember standing by the fire alarm in my building, telling him to leave as he kissed my neck and fondled my breasts. Every time I pulled away and said no, he became more forceful. Why would he think this is okay? I met him at a bus stop and told him that I wasn’t interested.
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One day it was cold in the morning where I live and then it was extremely hot later in the day. I was wearing leggings and a T shirt so I was pretty uncomfortable. I decided to go to this coffee shop after school just to sit down and chill and have an iced coffee after a long day, before I met one of my friends later. It was not a pleasant walk, and when I came up to the door there was this guy maybe in his 30s, sitting at a table outside with his coffee staring at me. He was still staring at me through the screen door as I had walked in and was ordering my drink, and I just tried to ignore him. Then he comes inside to order something (which I thought was weird considering he seemed to already be set up outside with his coffee and everything) and as I grab my coffee and try to go to a table on the other side of the coffee shop he stops me and says “Excuse me but, you’re very beautiful,” I took his compliment and said thank you and tried to go on my way but he kept talking to me. He asked me what my name was and after I told him he said “Mmmm, that’s a beautiful name.” I could see where this was going and I was just not having it today, so I said “Yeah I’m 15,” and went to go sit down.
I am fully aware that this was not a bad situation, compared to other encounters I’ve had with men in public. I just wanted to post this because I hate that after that whole scenario I was the one who felt ashamed and felt like I had overreacted. Its not right that just because a woman doesn’t give you her time and conversation, it means shes the one whose being rude. This expectation of women is what led me to feel so guilty and uncomfortable for the rest of the day, and its horrible.
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I was walking back from a friend’s flat to the chippy that was not even 5 minutes away before heading home about 10 minutes the other way. I noticed a guy behind me walking the same way but thought nothing about, when I get to the chip shop I have a pleasant conversation with the guy over the counter. Leaving the chippy the guys is stood there waiting for me. He begins asking me if I wanted to share food or go to his house, I decline telling him I’m on my way home. He continues to follow me down the road tell we get passed a fairly dark alley way, while starting to demand me to go with him and asking for my number. He then grabs my hand and tried to pull me off, I totally freaked out, it was fairly busy and a lot of attention was being drawn towards us so he let me go and told me he’d see me again.
It’ really upset me because I didn’t feel confident in myself but then that day I felt really good and they ruined it for me.
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A year ago, I moved to a big city for college, previously I had lived in a small town. Since I moved I probably have gotten checked out more times than ever before in my life… almost everyday when I’m walking to and from my bus stop, guys will peer at me walking all the way down the street, or try to talk to me while I’m standing at the corner waiting for the “walk” sign to change. Sometimes this happens 2 or 3 cars in a row… it really makes you feel like a object on a runway. Other times some creep will get on the bus and try to talk to me, compliment me, tell me how beautiful I am and I just have to sit there and endure it when all I want is to be left alone.
I really can’t believe how often this happens. I haven’t experienced anything violent (thankfully), but I still get tons of comments such as “heyyyyyy”, “how you doin?”, “hey beautiful”, and “nice ass”. I’ve told my boyfriend how often this happens and he went out and bought me some pepper spray to keep in my bag. I hope I never have to use it, but it makes me feel a little more secure when I’m out alone.
How anyone can think women should take street harassment as a compliment is beyond me. It’s not flirting, which is fun and makes you feel good, it’s men trying to intimidate women because to them they’re nothing but sex objects. It’s sad that you have to dread walking home from school because you know some creep is going to make a pass at you.
I wrote a blog post about my recent experiences with street harassment. I do not know what to do. I thought I was strong, but it is doing damage.
Post with 22 notes
Maybe a month or two ago, I was out walking my dog in my neighborhood. I live in a pretty good area, so I figured it would be alright to just walk with her for an hour. Boy, was I wrong.
I got to the edge of the neighborhood when some guy says hello to me. I had already mentally prepared myself for anything that was going to happen. I turned the volume of my music in my headphones down for a bit to say “hi” back for a bit, then kept walking. Dude decides to follow me. “Why won’t you talk to me?” and so on and so forth. I figured it would be bad to let this creep know where I live, so for a whole hour I had to try to escape him. He kept telling me very vulgar things about what he wanted to do to me, which I replied with “I have a boyfriend.” (I actually don’t, I had to make that part up.) That wasn’t enough to stop him. He had begun to read some of the patches on my vest, and my lowest patch is near my butt. He grabbed at my vest in an attempt to read my patch, so I swatted him away and began to text my crush and best guy friend for some advice on what to do. About an hour later, when this creep is still following me he called me, and we started talking on the phone.
He finally left me alone. A whole hour of following me when I’m clearly giving “back off” signals and it isn’t enough to get him to leave me alone, but when I finally get a guy to call me, it is? When he finally left me alone and I was clear to go home, I kept asking myself things like “why wouldn’t he leave me alone until I had one of my guy friends intervene?” and “why doesn’t it mean anything when I say “please leave me alone?” It wasn’t the first time I was followed and sadly it won’t be the last. I just hope that guys learn that this isn’t complimentary and it’s actually very scary. I don’t even want to think how it would have ended up if I never had my dog.
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This happened this past weekend while celebrating Halloween downtown. I went out with some friends but then decided later on I wanted to go home and arranged for a friend to pick me up. As soon as I was alone walking down the street, some guy came up to me and, having noticed my costume, he said, “Oh, so you’re a hippie? I like hippies. Why don’t you come with me?” It was very creepy so I broke away and said, “Actually, I’m going home.” Well, apparently he wasn’t alone. He followed me and along with like 4 other guys just harassed me as I was standing waiting to cross the street. He crouched down and started blowing air at my skirt, as if he was trying to get it to lift up. It was not only humiliating because there were so many people around, but it was downright sexist and beyond rude. It upset me so much that when my friend came to pick me up, I actually broke down crying. I’ve been the victim of much worse in the past, but this time I actually stood up for myself. It’s like you can never feel safe anymore.
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Yesterday, while I was waiting for some friends on the street, a homeless man came to me asking for money. I apologised and said I didn’t have any coins in my wallet. Then, he procceeded to tell me how beautiful I was and making disgusting comments about my lips. All I could say was “fuck you”, but he was already leaving and I don’t think he heard it.
I hate these men. Why the hell do they think they can do this? This guy was mad because I didn’t give him any money and so he thought he should try to intimidate me and humiliate me, turning me into a sex object that happened to be there for him to look at, analyse and comment.
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This isn’t technically “street” harassment as it happened indoors, though still in a public space. I was traveling on my own. My plane had just landed in the Toronto airport, and as I was walking off and through the terminal with the crowd of passengers there was this man walking along beside me, who kept stealing glances at me. We approached a narrow entry way, and he stepped back, offering me to “go ahead.” As I did, I heard him mutter, “the view from here is better anyway.” I was wearing shorts at the time, and as I realized this I quickened my steps, fighting the temptation to turn around and do something about it.
I am grateful it did not go beyond that, but I none the less felt abused and absolutely helpless, especially in knowing I would be facing a losing battle if I tried to confront it - I am a small woman traveling on her own, who minded her own business, in a place that was not home. It was frustrating, and I was terrified that I was going to see him again somewhere in the airport. Even though they were “just words”, they were powerful - powerful enough to force me into to the bathroom and change into sweats. I felt safer, but I hated that it had to be that way, that I had to be the one to ‘fix myself’; that all it takes is a meaningless outfit choice on your part to render you ‘vulnerable.’ The terror of words never felt so real.
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I went to a pride parade and while waiting for the bus to get back to campus, a man walked past me and slid his finger along my butt. He turned his head and smiled like it was all in good fun, but it really upset me and kinda ruined the day. I’ve never experienced someone physically touching me like that until today.
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