Post with 32 notes
I was walking to my bus stop and some guys yells at me “you from Chicago?” I was wearing my sister’s Chicago Bears shirt and I live in Seattle. I roll my eyes and ignore him. He’s waiting at the same stop as I am, and I see him approach me from the corner of my eye. He asks me why I rolled my eyes. I reply calmly that women don’t like being accosted by people they don’t know on the street. He tells me he wasn’t accosting me, just asking a question. I tell him I don’t like talking to strangers and I ask him politely to please leave me alone and I would appreciate him not talking to me. He tells me to “go fuck yourself” and “how’s that for accosting you, you rude little bitch.” I’m stunned at how quickly his anger escalated and he just walks a few feet away, still waiting for the bus, acting like nothing happened.
I just don’t understand why men get so fucking mad when a woman ignores them. Guess what, women deal with shit infinitely worse than that and we just move on and continue our fucking day.Yeah I rolled my eyes because it was a stupid fucking question. People wear shirts of teams they like and it doesn’t necessarily mean they’re from that city. It’s fucking Seattle, city of transplants. Also, it’s just plain rude to yell at people you don’t know in the street. I don’t care if you were trying to make conversation I’m not going to drop everything I’m doing and press pause on my day to cater to your fucking ego. I’m not here for your entertainment, to converse with you and answer your idiotic questions on a whim. If I was a guy, he probably wouldn’t have even said anything to me.
I just want to walk on the street without bothered. I just want people to respect my privacy. This isn’t even the worse of what women face on a daily basis; this is a tame example. I’m just so tired of this. I don’t even want to leave my home anymore. I just wish I wasn’t a woman so I didn’t have to deal with this.
Post with 24 notes
Bitch.
I was introduced to this feeling of helplessness when I was 14, in the store my family owns. A man called me beautiful, grabbed my arm, and wouldn’t let go. It took a number of patrons around me to pry him off. That fear and powerlessness is still a haunting feeling, a source of a lot of discomfort.
This week I was deep in the city with a classmate for a show, mandatory for our course. I did not know that she would leave before it ended, well into the night, that sent me on the subway alone. I took off my accessories, tucked away my headphones, lowered my head and quickened my pace.
I thought I was safe when I got to the central hub, after waiting alone at dark stops and empty cars, riddled with nervousness and anxiety. I anticipated the worst. Surrounded by people I thought I would be okay, and I chose a spot on the wall close to the crowd. I felt a man staring from a distance. I felt his shift in his attention and I felt his intentions. He came up to me, put his hand against the wall behind me and pinned me in.
“Hey baby, where you going?” I did not look up, could not. I hesitated, but I took the opening and walked.
“No, baby, where you going? Hey baby. Hey, bitch. You fucking bitch.”
No one turned or looked around me. I could not look back to see if he followed. I rode the subway shaking, utterly alone, hoping my composure looked genuine. I got off wanting to run away. But another man stood from a bench as I passed, two blocks from home. “Hey girl, I got a question. No listen, don’t go. Bitch. You bitch. Don’t flatter yourself. Don’t fucking flatter yourself.”
I closed my door and broke down. I feel violated, almost like a toy. I’m uncomfortable, powerless, scared, and helpless. No security but a certainty. A bitch. What a fucking bitch.
Post with 9 notes
Acceptable Behavior.
So this happened last night. I’m actually still upset and it’s so surprising to me how this has affected me so deeply. My normal public transportation route was redirected and cut off last night around 11pm in Brooklyn. The NYC MTA is pretty famous for that and everyone knows it’s to be expected. I Google mapped my way home and it said about a mile, so I figured I’d walk. So I’m wearing sweats, a hoodie, flip flops (obviously not the most beautiful thing or provocative). Immediately men, not homeless - regular ol dudes, out of nowhere, passing me on the street, outside of bars — start shouting at me — catcalling and it was so unsettling. Normally I’m used to some kind of catcalling 1-5 times a week, but usually it’s manageable and easy to ignore. But this was outrageous, every few paces. One guy said to me as I passed “I wanna tie you up and show how you should be treated,” and then was screaming at me down the street “I can tell by your walk that you want it” — men calling me honey, baby, boo. Not 10 feet would go by without a shout, I was actually legitimately scared. So I finally get to my corner and go into my regular bodega and I’m so shaken up at this point that I need to get water. In there are these 16yr old boys in there, couldn’t be much older, and they won’t stop talking to me and calling me baby and boo. I was just looking at the ground honestly trying not to cry. Still today, I’m scared, uncomfortable, I feel jittery. I have no idea how regular ol’ men with sisters and mothers and aunts and grandmothers can shout at women on the street the way they do. Any man who says that the things strange men say to women are “compliments” and not terrifying sexualized threats should be castrated.
Post with 6 notes
I think I want to start taking self-defense classes. I have been harassed walking home from school probably about 4 or 5 times. No one has explicitly threatened me before, but that’s probably because I’ve never said anything back to them before. I’m scared that if I muster up some courage and tell them off, maybe they will take physical action. Probably not, but maybe. I need to know that if I was ever in that kind of situation, I could kick someone’s ass, because right now I am weak and powerless.
How do you become powerful in the face of something terrible?
Post with 6 notes
The Playground
Today I was stalked by an older man, when I was walking to the park with my toddler. I felt something off when I passed him on the street. After I had been at the playground for 10 minutes, the guy rides up on his bike. What I had suspected was confirmed. He approaches me, as I am playing with my young son, and asks my name. I tell him a fake one, then he asks if I am married. When I tell him “yes”, he says, “Oh, sorry about that.” Then he rides off.
I felt sick, and wanted to cry. My beautiful spring day at the park with my toddler was ruined. What kind of sick person stalks and pervs a young mother? I was scared for myself and for my son. More than anything, I was angry. I am angry. This is not okay!
Post with 6 notes
One day as I was crossing the street behind my apartment two men in business-seeming attire were walking and our paths crossed. I walked slightly in front of them. They were having a conversation and I could hear it but I wasn’t really listening to it until we got about ten feet away from each other and I realized I heard one man say to the other, “I wish I knew what that tasted like.” I turned around and they were watching me walk away and laughing. I yelled at him. Letting him know that he was disgusting but they just kept laughing.
I live in a big city and I’ve had this kind of harassment many times. In fact not a day goes by that someone doesn’t blatantly stare at me or comment on my looks, but this is the worst it has ever made me feel.
Just this morning a man said, “Good morning Beautiful.” to me on my way into the train station. I thought to myself how that was such a polite and nice way to greet a lady. He didn’t say it with any kind of sexual feeling in his voice. He was just saying hello and giving a compliment to a woman in a respectful manner. It’s funny how a phrase can change just by the feeling you put behind it. That phrase could seem creepy if only said differently.
Photo with 12 notes
No Cat Calls - Watercolor, Pen, & Pencil on Paper
tarynriley.com | tarynrileyart.tumblr.com
Post with 4 notes
I was fifteen and on my way home from the milk bar with a carton of eggs and a block of butter in my shopping bag. I wasn’t wearing anything anyone could deem ‘provocative’ (not that that’s even an excuse for anything) - long sleeved collared shirt buttoned up to my neck and a skirt that went down to my calves. I was waiting for the lights to change, so I could cross the road, minding my own goddamn business.
Then some hot shot idiot in his crappy car with a friend in the passenger seat pulled up beside me and both of them said something ridiculously rude and obscene related to my race (I am half Asian). This, naturally, made me really scared, humiliated and angry. When I ignored them, they were just louder and waving their arms. One of them caught my eye and I just put a totally confused look on my face and pretended I was deaf- terrible signing and everything (I had luckily just done a project on the development of Australian Sign Language).
It was literally the first thing I could think of and is probably massively offensive to hearing impaired people everywhere. I pretended I was deaf just so these dickheads would leave me alone. They drove off once the lights changed and after a sexist comment or two more. I generally don’t wish ill on people, but I really hope that they got a flat tire at an inopportune moment, or that they realised the next day that that meaningful CHINESE tattoo they got was a terrible idea. Or, even better, they realised that harassing people in the streets is a douchebag move and feel really sorry about it, but can’t find me to apologise. I doubt it, but it does make me feel a bit better.
Post with 10 notes
I work as a barista, so I am harassed virtually every day by people who think they own some measure of my life, body, and time just because they order a latte. Today, I was walking to the library from my job. I knew better, logically. I was wearing red, which always seems to catch the attention of creepers, and a skirt— ditto on the creeper front. The library is right next to the bus stop, and therefore is something less than family-friendly, but my book was overdue and I was hoping for a couple minutes safe haven with the books before my break was over. And, of course, I ended up with a large group of guys shouting at me that they ”liked my style,” staring at me the whole way up and back. Headphones kept me from having to interact, and I didn’t hear the rest of their comments, but I was miserable the rest of the day.
I get so TIRED of people thinking they have the right to comment on what I wear. And even if I know them and tell them to stop, they give me a range of responses from: ”Well, you must want the attention if you dress like that.” (In clothes, with an edge, not that it should matter given that I’m telling you you’re making me uncomfortable. Way to use the time-honored excuse of rapists. Also, thanks. Now I feel like it’s my fault.) To ”You need to learn to take a compliment.” (No. No, I don’t need to learn to take anything. Next, you’ll be telling me to lie back and think of England.) To an interesting set of comments that boiled down to ”I should be able to comment on your appearance because getting critically reviewed is important to our growth as people.” (Interestingly, no comment on my part. Still rather astounded by that one.)
More than the actual comments is the feeling of being hunted, like there’s no safe place left. Why am I suddenly public property? Even wearing jeans and a T-shirt doesn’t seem to help.
I get tired, so tired, of the ”sweethearts” and the ”honeys”. I get tired of the stares. I get tired of my manager yelling at me for not meeting the eyes of someone who intimidated me, because even passive-aggressive fighting back is rude. And most of all, I’m tired, so tired, of not being able to fight back. And honestly, I’m starting to get scared. And I hate it.
Post with 7 notes
When I was 11 or 12, mini-sticks were a pretty big fad in my town. Mini sticks are basically mini hockey sticks and you can play with them indoors. My town is big on hockey, so all of the boys I knew had them. Boys carried them everywhere and they always had the pucks too. At some point, they realized that they could use the stick to pull off a prank, the prank being that you stuck it in between another boys legs from behind and pulled up, effectively sacking them.
They then realized that WOAH, THEY COULD DO THIS TO GIRLS TOO! One day I was walking home from school for lunch, and two boys I knew came up behind me and did this. I immediately started yelling at them and crying. Not only had it hurt, but I was embarrassed and I felt violated. I cried all through the lunch hour and told my mom what happened. She called the school to report this, and in the afternoon we had to all see the counselor and talk about the incident.
Everyone thought I was over reacting, and I was convinced that I had over reacted until very recently when I realized that I was right to feel the way I did. What they did was inappropriate and wrong. I’ll always remember the negative outlash against me for telling on those boys.
Page 1 of 35
